Karma's a Hell of a Thing

I think the Cosmic Hand of Serves You Right is about to smite me upside the head. Over the past six months I've developed balance problems serious enough that I even fell down the stairs in front of my apartment once. Whilst I wait to get into my doctor next week I've been doing some research. I should tell you that when I was nine years old my hands began to shake when I tried to do things like hold a pencil or pour a glass of water or anything else that needed some dexterity. This was diagnosed as Essential Tremor, and I've dealt with it the last 36 years by developing strange-looking yet effective ways of performing tasks that most people take for granted. I assumed the head tremor that showed up ten years ago was just exhaustion or stress. I can't ignore the leg tremors, or the fact that my hands and head shake even when I'm rested and relaxed. Even if they had told me at nine years old, I don't know if I'd have understood what it meant when a syndrome is "progressive." As a kid I always made fun of my shaking hands before the other kids got a chance. Karma's a hell of a thing.

F***ing Geniuses

The MacArthur Foundation has awarded its foundation grants for 2008 to 25 amazingly smart and talented humans who make me wish I had paid more attention in school. Just imagine, 25 people given $500,000.00 over 5 years with no strings attached, and they didn't have to walk on hot coals or eat goat penis or otherwise degrade themselves to get it. They just have to keep doing what they obviously love to do and make the world a little better than it was. How cool is that. Even cooler is that one of the group is a theatrical lighting designer. Yeah home team!
I know you can't apply for one, but I'd love to see the look on the faces of the Foundation's committee when I walked up in bibbed overalls and a "Beer School" baseball cap asking "hows ah go 'bout gittin me one uh them there genius grants y'all handin' out." And that's why I'll never get the call. I should have cured a disease.

I'm Baa-aack!

Sorry I've been MIA for most of the summer. The job got hectic, then uncertain, then depressing, then rage-inducing, and now has settled into a pace akin to King's "The Long Walk." If you must fall down, be the last to fall down. For my own sanity and hopefully your amusement, I'm going to try to post on a regular schedule. This world is just too wonderfully weird not to document.