Meditation Vertigo

For the past couple of months I've been unable to meditate. I know its the result of a staggering lack of discipline, but that knowledge doesn't seem to help me stay on the bench for any length of time. I used to settle into position with okay posture and better intent, and as I started watching the breath come in and the breath go out, random thoughts would pop up, and I would identify them as "just a thought" and watch them fall away. I could do that fairly well when it was a thought here or an image there, but my mind has upped the game on me. Now its thought on top of image on top of idea in a roiling swamp of to-do lists and movie clips and story ideas and I have to get up and turn on the television just to grab whatever narrative it provides like a lifeline. I even fell off of the bench once, in an episode of meditative vertigo.
Any meditator would read this whiny post and respond "buck up soldier, welcome to the club." I know the answer is be patient and keep sitting. I am curious if anyone else meditates with a bicycle helmet on, ready for the next fall.